Don't think less of yourself, think of yourself less.

I heard someone say this in a TikTok video a while ago, and it really stuck with me this idea of don’t think less of yourself, think of yourself less.

Insecurity gets confused with identity all the time. Everyone is insecure about something. That’s just part of being human. Maybe it’s your appearance. Maybe it’s your personality. Maybe it’s the way you act around different people, or the way you think everyone sees you. Everybody has something they wish they could change about themselves.

And insecurity hurts. It drains you, and the people around you too. It makes you feel small, embarrassed, unworthy. No matter what you do, that feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach will never fully go away.

Most people think that a solution is impossible, because the obvious answer sounds way too simple. Stop being insecure. And that is much easier said than done. But what if it isn’t.

A lot of insecurity develops from constantly thinking about yourself. It sounds harsh, but think about it. When you’re insecure, all you think is about how others perceive you. Thoughts like, How do I look? Did I sound weird? Do they like me? Was that embarrassing? Am I prettier than her? Do they think I’m awkward? Why am I not enough? Fill your head.

It becomes exhausting because your mind never leaves your ownself. The more insecure you are, the more self-focused you become. You treat yourself like the center of every room. You walk in and can only imagine that everybody notices every flaw about you. But the truth is: nobody is thinking about you that much.

Everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves. That’s the strange thing about insecurity. It convinces you that everyone is watching you, when in reality everyone is thinking the exact same thing about themselves.

And comparison only makes it worse. It feels like everyone around you has something better. Better clothes. Better grades. Better friends. Better personality. Better life. But you’re comparing your worst thoughts to somebody else’s outside appearance. You’re taking your insecurities and placing them next to their highlights. And suddenly your worst qualities can’t compare to their best qualities. And that's on an even scale.

Of course you’ll lose every time. The other person isn’t better than you just decided they are. Insecurity is a trick. It keeps you trapped in your own head. It makes you stare at yourself so long that every flaw starts looking bigger than any other quality.  

So maybe the answer isn’t learning to love every single thing about yourself. Maybe the answer is just try and think about yourself less. Focus on your friendships. Your family. Your goals. The conversations you’re having. The music you love. The memories you’re making. 

The less time you spend obsessing over yourself, the less power insecurity actually has over you.

Don’t think less of yourself, think of yourself less.